Prosecution

So, yesterday I went to court, and I found out that I only have to do 3-6 months (3 if I'm good) of probation, and only 24 hours of community service. Though the court was a very emotional and dramatic thing, with the mother of the victim being there -- you have to remember, I was good friends with these people for a very long while, and was part of their family. Often times, I liked them more than my own family -- and saying a few words of "she was hurt emotionally, under the skin, and I still care for Alex, and wish for her to have a safe place to go." When I was in bad moods and such, I usually went down there to sit in a certain chair and sulk, or cry. I've been having chronic depression since about when I was 12, 7th grade. Not many people liked me, and I often times didn't try to make any new friends. I found it hard to even talk to teachers without crying. So, I stayed in a shell until about last year, 2010, when I finally realized that people like me, and I can do whatever I want when I get older, no matter what people say and what people tell me. I just had to work hard, and lately, I haven't been living up to my potential.

I'm trying to get a job. I have applications to fill out, but I'm sucking -- badly, at that -- about filling them out. It's almost summer, I'm in the middle of a cold, or strep (I really don't know), and I feel like crap because of stress and friends and school ending in a few days. With finals, more finals and even more finals, my friends and I are paired up and I don't know how I'm going to survive by being sick all the time and not wanting to get anyone sick... For example, one of my friends texted me this morning and told me if I didn't get my ass to school, we were going to fail and it would be all my fault for jeopardizing our grade like that. Hell, I know that. Did she not think I knew that? I didn't come to school today because I couldn't swallow a pill smaller than a pebble, because my tonsils are so swollen that I cough and it feels like I have two tennis balls stuck in the back of my throat. I can't even swallow correctly. Yes, I could have gone to school, but my mom told me to stay home today if I couldn't swallow my Tylenol. I did about an hour ago with some work, but my throat keeps swelling up like a bullfrogs!

I've already watched about 3 episodes of Fruits Basket and planning on watching a movie or reading (maybe even sleeping, but I have an appointment at 1, so maybe not) the last book of Percy Jackson & the Olympians, because I'm almost done with that series... Maybe go around for a walk since it's so green, the summer is coming in so fast. It's already so warm and everything's just blooming... except the flower I keep trying to grow. That's not working so well.

Maybe I'll just watch some Grey's Anatomy or Bones, since I still need to catch up on those shows now that I've caught up on House. -sigh-

That and I need to write... and finish the project that my friend and I have to do... and go to the doctor... and possibly go fishing this afternoon...

Fff. So fucking busy.