Doubled

Yesterday went perfectly. I couldn't have asked for a better day.

In the morning, I woke up and I wrote a blog. After that, I took a shower, and sat around in my underwear for a while, drying my hair with a towel as I wandered around on fanfiction.net and Facebook. Maybe a little Tumblr, too.

Around noon, my mom was scurrying around freakishly fast, making cupcakes and getting ready for my eldest sister's baby shower. She's due in a few weeks. I got dressed in a nice teal turtle neck shirt and pale grey skinnies. Then I tried on a few shoes, deciding that heels wouldn't be good for this occasion. I wore flats.

The entire baby shower was easy to set up, and I even made a few decorations - the unborn baby's nickname is "Tadpole," because my sister is Catfish and my brother-in-law is Bullfrog. Cute right? - out of green fun-foam, making lily pads to go on the tables and around the food. My lily pads looked kind of retarded at first, but I searched the church for some glue, and I found some. After that, I made little lilies out of glue on the things, just to make them look better. Then my mom had some froggie stickers to put on them as well. They were well-decorated.

Once the mother-to-be got there, we played plenty of games - she got there around 1:30, 2 (I can't remember) with my little sister, and that's when the shower began.

Two hours later, around 4, it was time to go fishing. My mom drove me home, went back to the shower, and I got dressed in my crappiest clothes available, just in case I fell in or got them dirty with fish blood or something (I was expecting for him to catch monster fish like the Loch Ness Monster, but nooo, I caught the most fish out of everyone). After that, David came to pick me up. In his grandparents Mercedes. (I think.)

I talked all the way to his house, and we sat around until 6 when his brother came (and farted, like usual. Damn hobo-marshmallow!) and then at 6:21, we left to go to the lake. Not the lake, but a lake out of how-many-ever that we have in Minnesota.

Once we got there, I got to sit on the back of the car, holding the boat on a line so it didn't float away, but the damned trailer floated, so it took a lot more time to get David's (hand-crafted) boat into the water. That, and his little put-put car could hardly get it out of the water. It was funny... to me, anyway.

I do have a fear of sinking, though. Sinking and drowning.

... But to get to the point, David and I caught 6 fish together. I caught 4. I named them all. (Spike, Leopold, Gilbert, Shirley, Blokeh and Geraldine.)

On the way back... we talked. That's the best part about yesterday. We talked. Like, really talked.

It makes me happy to know I can just talk to someone.

Thank you, David, because I know you're going to be reading this.

Update #1

"Updates" will be journals on how I feel - if you don't like hearing about teenage depression/if it makes you angry, turn back now. It's gonna be pretty bad/sappy.

Lately, my boyfriend David has been coming over to see how I've been doing, since I've been sick two days out of the week already: Monday and today. He is... too perfect. I'm not worried about him cheating, or being a complete bastard, he's nice and he knows what he's doing in everything he does, he's a virgin, he doesn't care what I look like, or if I'm sick, he offers me rides in the morning, he's good to both my parents, he's favored by my sisters to my previous boyfriend by a lot, he would do anything for me. You know that song "Grenade" by whoever? Yeah. Yeah, he would do anything for me.

And what do I do for him?

I get in trouble with the police. I don't realize quickly enough that I'm hurting his feelings by talking/being too friendly with my other guy friends, so that he has to step in and intervene, tell me what I'm doing wrong. I don't go to school because I get sick because I don't take care of myself. I complain about how I look. I dress like crap because it's comfortable. I feel so uncomfortable in my skin and tell him every day that I'm gross and don't like myself.

And every day, whenever I tell him those things, he always tells me I'm beautiful, and he always tells me I deserve all that he gives me, all that he does for me.

Damn it all, I wish I could believe him. Sometimes, I just want to force myself into this, into his caring arms. All I can do, though, is just want to return to my lonely hole, with not a single smiling-David-face around. He's like, sunlight, and I'm like a vampire. It just doesn't work.

But I want it to work, so badly. I just... eugh, he's so perfect. He's the betterment I've always wanted, and now that I have it, I realize how comfortable the suffering has gotten. I feel better in his arms, but I feel at home, alone in my bed at night. I guess... I will have to learn to get used to it, slowly, baby steps. Ya'know?

Gods, this is going to be really tough.

I've Been Better

Then again, I've also been worse.

Today, I'm staying home sick because I puked this morning. Ooh, that sucked. My sister won't even touch me now, which is hilarious to tease her about, but other than that, it's quite sucking to be me at this moment in time.

At this time, I am riding a sheep. On Harvest Moon: Animal Parade. And his/her name is Killer.

I'm a boss.

A boss that is totally addicted to this game.

Pond

David and I went up to these two giant pinds today.

We saw a duck.

And saw Lucy, a dog.

And deer.

Oh, and we also took my dog for a walk.

Yep, that's about it.

Where do you like to go to relax?

Can't Deny Mr. Foxie

My favorite animal, and why:

My favorite animal is the snow leopard, because it's one of the rarest cats, and it reminds me of me, because it lives in the middle of fucking no where with lots of snow. <3

Last night, my boyfriend and my friend came over (the friend slept over, happily) and we drove around, went to the playground, the baseball field, and drove around... everywhere. Then, we went up my hill and watched the stars as we laid on my boyfriend's shitty VW, manual, 1990-something car. But, it was warm, and it was nice, so it wasn't so bad, I guess. Actually, it was one of the best nights (sleeping-wise as well) I've had since I've come back.

He went to his uncle's, who lives in town, so he could come over earlier to help me put up my shelves, like we had planned earlier this week. So, he should be here any time soon, while Leah is still asleep. She's taken my favorite pillow and my second-softest blanket and decided that she'll sleep until noon if she pleases.

I really don't mind. She's adorable when she sleeps.

My little sister is up and moving, and Leah seems to be awake now, so I must get my cover-up on after I wash my hair (because, fuck, do I ever need it) and possibly even shave. But, oh well, Emma just went into the bathroom. She'll be out in a second, I hope. She takes showers during the night on the weekends.

Also, last night starting around 10:30, we started watching Fantastic Mr. Fox, and amazing story that is my second favorite of all time. My first is Fight Club. We got finished with it around midnight, and that's when David (boyfriend) left to go to his uncle's. And that's when I went to bed

But now, I have to go take a shower.

What is your favorite Girl Scout cookie?

Chocolate Bunnies

The answer to the question last post: 

9.

Today I'm hanging out with my friend Leah, and she's eating all of my Easter candy. But, I am letting her, because I love her and missed her so much on my "adventure". She and I usually do this, where we sit around, watch movies, and be on our computers drawing together or writing. But I can't say it's not fun.

At school earlier, it was another fantastic, yet draining, day. But, I came back to my house with my sisterly lover and my boyfriend gave us a ride, and now we plan to go make bracelets after we go get the supplies. I can't wait.

Another question! I shall make this a thing:

What is your favorite animal, and why?