My eldest brother and sister-and-law had a baby about two months ago. Today is the first day I have held the baby, Logan. When I held him, he had the hiccups, and he moves so much. It was so wonderful.
Lately, though, I've been so craving babies. Babies, babies, babies! My boyfriend and I just go around, and my sister is pregnant, there's a baby here, everyone on the television has babies, and I ask, "So, when is it my turn?"... He just tells me that our parents would kill us and we DON'T have the money to do that. So, no babies for me. But... It's so tempting. I just want a baby! I might go into a babysitting service or something... I just want to hold babies, tend to babies... It's so nice. They're so small, and SO cute.
Just so you know, I live waaay up on the North Shore, Grand Marais to be specific, and today, and for the weekend, I'm in St. Paul with my siblings and mom. And nephew. <3
I know I haven't been keeping up with a daily blog! But there hasn't been much of anything going on in my life. I will try to do every other day, or at least twice a week! I know none of you guys probably don't care all that much, but still. I would like you to know that.
Alright! I have to go write! (Fuck yeah, I rhymed.)
EDIT, MOMENTS AFTER I POSTED.
This upcoming weekend, (the one in June, not May) I'm going to Cirque de Soleil with my old friends Jill and Emily. I'll take pictures and upload them here! Okay, NOW, I go write. And see the baby. <3
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Glory of Cheesecake
Oh, yes, my dearies, I BAKE!
I often bake to get my feelings out. Oh, goodness. It's so amazing. Well, at least that's what I'm told. I don't like cheesecake, myself, but my boyfriend, his uncle, and grandparents seemed to like it a lot. It was a simple, no-bake recipe, with a wonderful graham cracker crust. I made little cupcakes out of them , too. They were really good, and all I had to do was put them in the freezer for about two hours.
Then I put strawberries on 3 of the 9 that I made. <3 David and I ate one together. I have to say, I did a pretty good job.
Other than that, my day went by pretty smoothly. David pestered me about a large secret of mine. It... it's very secret. It's a secret very dear to me, and I would rather not go into it. It's one of those things that's never been very serious, and it's rather a silly matter, but I still can't help but want to keep it to myself. After 10 years of keeping it to myself? I would rather it stay that way, thank you.
Oh, but today's just been a rush of emotions. I was going to blog earlier, but I need to read Child of War, an online series that I just... ADORE. I love it so much, it's so good. x3 Oh, and I also had to talk to a few of my friends, boyfriend, and my little sister.
Alright, time to go to sleep. x 3 x
I often bake to get my feelings out. Oh, goodness. It's so amazing. Well, at least that's what I'm told. I don't like cheesecake, myself, but my boyfriend, his uncle, and grandparents seemed to like it a lot. It was a simple, no-bake recipe, with a wonderful graham cracker crust. I made little cupcakes out of them , too. They were really good, and all I had to do was put them in the freezer for about two hours.
Then I put strawberries on 3 of the 9 that I made. <3 David and I ate one together. I have to say, I did a pretty good job.
Other than that, my day went by pretty smoothly. David pestered me about a large secret of mine. It... it's very secret. It's a secret very dear to me, and I would rather not go into it. It's one of those things that's never been very serious, and it's rather a silly matter, but I still can't help but want to keep it to myself. After 10 years of keeping it to myself? I would rather it stay that way, thank you.
Oh, but today's just been a rush of emotions. I was going to blog earlier, but I need to read Child of War, an online series that I just... ADORE. I love it so much, it's so good. x3 Oh, and I also had to talk to a few of my friends, boyfriend, and my little sister.
Alright, time to go to sleep. x 3 x
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Doubled
Yesterday went perfectly. I couldn't have asked for a better day.
In the morning, I woke up and I wrote a blog. After that, I took a shower, and sat around in my underwear for a while, drying my hair with a towel as I wandered around on fanfiction.net and Facebook. Maybe a little Tumblr, too.
Around noon, my mom was scurrying around freakishly fast, making cupcakes and getting ready for my eldest sister's baby shower. She's due in a few weeks. I got dressed in a nice teal turtle neck shirt and pale grey skinnies. Then I tried on a few shoes, deciding that heels wouldn't be good for this occasion. I wore flats.
The entire baby shower was easy to set up, and I even made a few decorations - the unborn baby's nickname is "Tadpole," because my sister is Catfish and my brother-in-law is Bullfrog. Cute right? - out of green fun-foam, making lily pads to go on the tables and around the food. My lily pads looked kind of retarded at first, but I searched the church for some glue, and I found some. After that, I made little lilies out of glue on the things, just to make them look better. Then my mom had some froggie stickers to put on them as well. They were well-decorated.
Once the mother-to-be got there, we played plenty of games - she got there around 1:30, 2 (I can't remember) with my little sister, and that's when the shower began.
Two hours later, around 4, it was time to go fishing. My mom drove me home, went back to the shower, and I got dressed in my crappiest clothes available, just in case I fell in or got them dirty with fish blood or something (I was expecting for him to catch monster fish like the Loch Ness Monster, but nooo, I caught the most fish out of everyone). After that, David came to pick me up. In his grandparents Mercedes. (I think.)
I talked all the way to his house, and we sat around until 6 when his brother came (and farted, like usual. Damn hobo-marshmallow!) and then at 6:21, we left to go to the lake. Not the lake, but a lake out of how-many-ever that we have in Minnesota.
Once we got there, I got to sit on the back of the car, holding the boat on a line so it didn't float away, but the damned trailer floated, so it took a lot more time to get David's (hand-crafted) boat into the water. That, and his little put-put car could hardly get it out of the water. It was funny... to me, anyway.
I do have a fear of sinking, though. Sinking and drowning.
... But to get to the point, David and I caught 6 fish together. I caught 4. I named them all. (Spike, Leopold, Gilbert, Shirley, Blokeh and Geraldine.)
On the way back... we talked. That's the best part about yesterday. We talked. Like, really talked.
It makes me happy to know I can just talk to someone.
Thank you, David, because I know you're going to be reading this.
In the morning, I woke up and I wrote a blog. After that, I took a shower, and sat around in my underwear for a while, drying my hair with a towel as I wandered around on fanfiction.net and Facebook. Maybe a little Tumblr, too.
Around noon, my mom was scurrying around freakishly fast, making cupcakes and getting ready for my eldest sister's baby shower. She's due in a few weeks. I got dressed in a nice teal turtle neck shirt and pale grey skinnies. Then I tried on a few shoes, deciding that heels wouldn't be good for this occasion. I wore flats.
The entire baby shower was easy to set up, and I even made a few decorations - the unborn baby's nickname is "Tadpole," because my sister is Catfish and my brother-in-law is Bullfrog. Cute right? - out of green fun-foam, making lily pads to go on the tables and around the food. My lily pads looked kind of retarded at first, but I searched the church for some glue, and I found some. After that, I made little lilies out of glue on the things, just to make them look better. Then my mom had some froggie stickers to put on them as well. They were well-decorated.
Once the mother-to-be got there, we played plenty of games - she got there around 1:30, 2 (I can't remember) with my little sister, and that's when the shower began.
Two hours later, around 4, it was time to go fishing. My mom drove me home, went back to the shower, and I got dressed in my crappiest clothes available, just in case I fell in or got them dirty with fish blood or something (I was expecting for him to catch monster fish like the Loch Ness Monster, but nooo, I caught the most fish out of everyone). After that, David came to pick me up. In his grandparents Mercedes. (I think.)
I talked all the way to his house, and we sat around until 6 when his brother came (and farted, like usual. Damn hobo-marshmallow!) and then at 6:21, we left to go to the lake. Not the lake, but a lake out of how-many-ever that we have in Minnesota.
Once we got there, I got to sit on the back of the car, holding the boat on a line so it didn't float away, but the damned trailer floated, so it took a lot more time to get David's (hand-crafted) boat into the water. That, and his little put-put car could hardly get it out of the water. It was funny... to me, anyway.
I do have a fear of sinking, though. Sinking and drowning.
... But to get to the point, David and I caught 6 fish together. I caught 4. I named them all. (Spike, Leopold, Gilbert, Shirley, Blokeh and Geraldine.)
On the way back... we talked. That's the best part about yesterday. We talked. Like, really talked.
It makes me happy to know I can just talk to someone.
Thank you, David, because I know you're going to be reading this.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Prom & Fishing
I refuse to go to prom. Prom is gay. xD
It is a gambling/Las Vegas theme, and there will be small amount of controlled gambling, all that other shizz... But that's just stupid. About two months ago, my boyfriend and I looked at each other and we decided that we did not want to go to prom. Prom, as I said before, is gay.
Other than that, here in Minnesota, it is fishing opener. That means that all the lakes in Minnesota (all ten thousand of them) are open for fishing. We decided to do that instead.
So, today, after my pregnant sister's baby shower, I am going to go fishing until 10 pm, catching tons of fish. Maybe. I kind of suck at fishing, and have only caught about five fish in my entire lifetime... so this shall be interesting. I'm not looking forward to embarrassing myself in front of my boyfriend, but there has been worse. He's seen my lady parts, I don't think he's going to think I'm going to be a freak for not liking the taste of fish and freaking out when I have a fish on the line.
Wow, this shall be interesting. *O*
Oh, also, last night, I had a fit. A depression fit. It wasn't fantastic... at all. I painted out my feelings, and I also went for a walk. It sucked, hard. It was very uncomfortable for me to do anything, and I felt like burying myself in a hole and never coming out again. It was a down night, and my boyfriend was worried about me. I said "I'm sorry" when I snapped at him, so I'm planning on keeping it to myself next time. I mean, it's not like I'm going to do anything overly stupid.
... Right?
It is a gambling/Las Vegas theme, and there will be small amount of controlled gambling, all that other shizz... But that's just stupid. About two months ago, my boyfriend and I looked at each other and we decided that we did not want to go to prom. Prom, as I said before, is gay.
Other than that, here in Minnesota, it is fishing opener. That means that all the lakes in Minnesota (all ten thousand of them) are open for fishing. We decided to do that instead.
So, today, after my pregnant sister's baby shower, I am going to go fishing until 10 pm, catching tons of fish. Maybe. I kind of suck at fishing, and have only caught about five fish in my entire lifetime... so this shall be interesting. I'm not looking forward to embarrassing myself in front of my boyfriend, but there has been worse. He's seen my lady parts, I don't think he's going to think I'm going to be a freak for not liking the taste of fish and freaking out when I have a fish on the line.
Wow, this shall be interesting. *O*
Oh, also, last night, I had a fit. A depression fit. It wasn't fantastic... at all. I painted out my feelings, and I also went for a walk. It sucked, hard. It was very uncomfortable for me to do anything, and I felt like burying myself in a hole and never coming out again. It was a down night, and my boyfriend was worried about me. I said "I'm sorry" when I snapped at him, so I'm planning on keeping it to myself next time. I mean, it's not like I'm going to do anything overly stupid.
... Right?
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Update #1
"Updates" will be journals on how I feel - if you don't like hearing about teenage depression/if it makes you angry, turn back now. It's gonna be pretty bad/sappy.
Lately, my boyfriend David has been coming over to see how I've been doing, since I've been sick two days out of the week already: Monday and today. He is... too perfect. I'm not worried about him cheating, or being a complete bastard, he's nice and he knows what he's doing in everything he does, he's a virgin, he doesn't care what I look like, or if I'm sick, he offers me rides in the morning, he's good to both my parents, he's favored by my sisters to my previous boyfriend by a lot, he would do anything for me. You know that song "Grenade" by whoever? Yeah. Yeah, he would do anything for me.
And what do I do for him?
I get in trouble with the police. I don't realize quickly enough that I'm hurting his feelings by talking/being too friendly with my other guy friends, so that he has to step in and intervene, tell me what I'm doing wrong. I don't go to school because I get sick because I don't take care of myself. I complain about how I look. I dress like crap because it's comfortable. I feel so uncomfortable in my skin and tell him every day that I'm gross and don't like myself.
And every day, whenever I tell him those things, he always tells me I'm beautiful, and he always tells me I deserve all that he gives me, all that he does for me.
Damn it all, I wish I could believe him. Sometimes, I just want to force myself into this, into his caring arms. All I can do, though, is just want to return to my lonely hole, with not a single smiling-David-face around. He's like, sunlight, and I'm like a vampire. It just doesn't work.
But I want it to work, so badly. I just... eugh, he's so perfect. He's the betterment I've always wanted, and now that I have it, I realize how comfortable the suffering has gotten. I feel better in his arms, but I feel at home, alone in my bed at night. I guess... I will have to learn to get used to it, slowly, baby steps. Ya'know?
Gods, this is going to be really tough.
I've Been Better
Then again, I've also been worse.
Today, I'm staying home sick because I puked this morning. Ooh, that sucked. My sister won't even touch me now, which is hilarious to tease her about, but other than that, it's quite sucking to be me at this moment in time.
At this time, I am riding a sheep. On Harvest Moon: Animal Parade. And his/her name is Killer.
I'm a boss.
A boss that is totally addicted to this game.
Today, I'm staying home sick because I puked this morning. Ooh, that sucked. My sister won't even touch me now, which is hilarious to tease her about, but other than that, it's quite sucking to be me at this moment in time.
At this time, I am riding a sheep. On Harvest Moon: Animal Parade. And his/her name is Killer.
I'm a boss.
A boss that is totally addicted to this game.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Pond
David and I went up to these two giant pinds today.
We saw a duck.
And saw Lucy, a dog.
And deer.
Oh, and we also took my dog for a walk.
Yep, that's about it.
Where do you like to go to relax?
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